by Jill Hand
A vampire walks into a bar. That sounds like a joke but it’s not. The vampire in question is me, Elizabeth Bathory di Mastrioni van Helsing y Menendez, Liz for short. I walk into a bar, sit down on a vacant stool, and the hot guy sitting next to me leans over.
Yes! I’m thinking. That’s it, baby! Get nice and close. Oooh, you look good enough to eat! I can feel my fangs give a happy little tingle. It’s been awhile since I ate and I’m starving.
Gazing into my eyes he smiles and goes…
“Do you mind moving over so my girlfriend can sit there?”