Stories

Month: November 2014

  • M-STEM

    by Shannon Fay

    Mad science 101 was the only class where you had to worry about your homework eating the dog.

    Poor Barnaby. The only thing left of the cocker spaniel was a chewed-up collar the angle-wolf had spit out before booking it out of the lab Jodie had built in her grandma’s basement. She could hear the beast overhead, knocking over granny’s fine china and Hummel figures.

    Jodie typed up an e-mail to her Mad-Sci 101 prof.

    Dear Professor Smogmire, 

    I know the deadline for the anglefish-wolf hybrid is tomorrow, but could I please have an extension? My grandmother has passed away.

    (more…)

  • Pest Control

    by William R.A.D. Funk

     

    SETI Report March 23rd, 2049

    Broadband transmission received at 09h38

    Estimated distance of origin: 58,416 Light Years

    Host: …does your solar system have a pest problem? Are your lush, verdant planets overrun by a bipedal scourge? Not to worry, because HumaneX is guaranteed to get rid of your Homo sapien infestation. (more…)

  • Ability

    by Tegan Day

    “Stop it.”

    “Why?”

    “Because you can’t set fire to water.”

    “No, you can’t set fire to water.”

    “Why would I want to set fire to water?”

    “You wouldn’t, ’cause then I’d be right.”

    (more…)

  • Final Mission

    by Michael Haynes

    The emissary of destruction awoke as his ship decelerated upon entry into the Grinaldi system. Though the calendar would say a dozen generations had passed since the Grinaldi had methodically, torturously, wiped out his homeworld those memories were fresh in his mind. For him, it had happened only days before.

    His consciousness, the only part of him which had been able to make the journey, went immediately to work. He confirmed the computer’s accounting of the ship’s location and checked to ensure that the transmissions originating from the system’s large fourth planet were indeed Grinaldi.

    His makers had argued whether a conscious mind was necessary for this mission. There had been some who felt computerized systems were all that the ship required, but others said such a device would be irresponsible, capable of accidentally wiping out other inhabitants if they had overrun Grinald in the centuries between the launch of this ship and its arrival. (more…)